Its Christmas!!!

I have just come home from techpoint...I really very happy lehz...I finally saw him...it is really long since I last see him...but my feelings is mixed when I go there lehz...I give him the present and he is still the same saying that old word thank you...then walk off to his locker...at that time I somehow feel a little disappointed by his attitude...but he is just like that what can I do...as I see him walking off...his back view is what I see...recalling scene of him walking in and me giving him present and then he walks away seem flashing continuously...though all this things happen within 5 mins...it really seems like it take an hour to go....at that moment...I really hope that time could stop so that I could look at him longer...look at him from head to toe...his every expression and body language and his voice...seeing him going inside and start working with the jet...I somehow recall last time...I always peep at him during work and always sit opposite his table during break where we will be facing face to face...even there's no one in front...i would still take peeps at him...besides at work I remember him carefully move apart a large stack of things behind me...as he was discussing how to move it away behind me...I take peeps at him...and I was caught peeping by him...and I blushed immediately...as he moves the things away...I turned so red hot...though everything is all just one sided mindset...I really do treasure every moment I can see or even take peeps at him....to me all this was so memorable to me....apart from seeing him...I meet up with shelia before going to techpoint...we chat alot and I hope that our friendship will last forever....today is full of memories....I Love the worklife there....

MeMoRiEs No1 caN SteaL

FoR iT sHaLL StAy tiLL

FoRevEr~!

Christmas round the corner....

Christmas Season is round the corner and i'm so excited about this festive season...I have bought something for him...but really dunno how to give him...I had made up mind to go back to motorola and give him the present I bought for him....I'm really very scared that he might just throw the present away...but I believe he wont do that....I planning to meet up with shelia so that I could give her her present...so excited...so long never see shelia and friends from motorola...really missing those days we had....
Merry Christmas to all~!

Bad History Bothers ME....

I am kinda confused...have mixed feelings now...I seem to cant find out why I am what I am now...I used to be very outgoing, sociable, sporty...but that side of me faded away long ago...and now I am so quiet, inferior, keep things to myself... thats not me!! Having search my souls for the life I have been going through...is it because of that bad experience I had during the end of Sec 1 which keeps reminding me that I am a bad girl and nobody wants to befriend me... ever since that first IS class of this semester...I have been thinking....why I just cant express myself rightfully...why cant I be opened up and speak more... where have that chatty me gone to... am I who I used to be?? I want to find my true self...ever since that experience ...I feel that people despise me... I feel so inferior and so sad... does that mean that ones make a mistake and for life, cant be reform?? This have been hindering me for 5 years... and now I really want to face it... I want to change to that previous me where I smile deep from my heart... and chat like theres never ending topics... If the person who together we are involve in that bad experience sees this... I want to say:' Though this thing make me fall in a deep dark hole where I cant climb out of it up till now, I never regret the things we had done.Hope you will get your desired happiness and find the true light in your future.' Things done cant be changed and for that bad experience I just have to accept and move on...but this experience brought me darkness and inferiority... having clear thoughts about it... I know those inferior thoughts will bring me nowhere... from now on I'm going to change that inferiority in me, that timidness in me, every pessimistic thoughts I have... and I hope changes will do me better and that my friends will accept this changed me(my usual self)... it really seems I am a problematic girl which needs counselling...but I think I am able to cope with it... thank God for being there when I am in need of you...

ps: EXPERIENCE IS PART OF LIFE...IT MAKES ONES GROW INTO A STRONGER PERSON.

Moody me~!

Weather: cLoudy
Location: my friends house
Emotions: moody

ToDay No ScHooL...Kinda still brooding over the things that happened few days ago...Really too many things happen...Though they really meant me well but i really believe that he's a nice person...after all humans have temper...need to say him...I believe in him and that what said is just at the fit of anger...I know he is the sort of the ah bengs...but he is not those extreme kinda who fight,smoke and does those that one ah beng does...don't ask me how I know it...I just know it...so long never see all my friends...really hope to catch up with them...i miss so them so much especially Anqi, Sam, Yubing,shihui,sidi,stacy,fangz,etc...so long never see them...haiz..Life so full of ups and downs....really need alot of courage to face all those...but having all those friends by my side supporting me, encouraging me...I believe things will turn out better...at least I know I am being cared and concern for...thanks alot to you guys...you all really help me to persevere more and to be able to bravely face those problems rushing on me... through this I have learnt to be stronger and you all made me believe that i'm not alone facing those problems....hope that all those problems will soon be solved...
Msg to all my friends:

,,,.+' i wiLL '+,
(,") siT hEre
((")(") & pRay
i h0pE tHaT tHe PeRs0N

wHo'S rEaDiNG tHiS wiLL bE bLeSsEd

wiTh evErLaStiNg hApPiNesS aNd

sMiLe aLwAyz...tAkE CaRe 0f y0uRseLF

aNd kEep iN coNtaCt w0r~!

I'm back~!

Back home...And there's so many things happen during these few days...I'm so stressed out by all those things...School starting tomorrow...And I miss him a lot...Someone told me he is more bad tempered nowadays...What can I do...He's an ah beng type that I like...But he's a very nice guy with driveness and is very hardworking....why people keep discouraging me to persevere the belief I have... saying we are worlds apart(ah beng and good ger).... I believe my eyes my taste.... I like his attitude of getting everything done nicely... In my eyes I see only him... he must be the one... I would just have to keep on trying... let nature take it course....i will still be there waiting for him....new semester coming..and it seems that this new semester arent going to be giving me an easy life to lead...i'm going to work doubly hard for everything...just as hardworking as him...so excited about school tomorrow...get to see my classmates...so long never see them...miss them much....school starting tomorrow...well see you guys soon~!

TiRED!!!

Today is a real tired day...just come back from the graduation party...handling those nursery kids and kindergardern kids with their performances...there are so fun to play with...and playing with them makes me feel younger and like that of my childhood...though there is some which is quite disobedient and even carry him the whole day...my hand is really very pain...oh~!can you imagine...i even help the boys to change!!They didnt even wear their undies...oh my~! I really feel very awkward helping them change...but now I got used to it...thats what I have been seeing for the whole holidays since I work at the childcare...they are really cute...really enjoy the time with them...opps..thinking of becoming a childcare teacher in the future...no bar~kids nowadays are difficult to handle...if they are naughty cant beat them...but its nice to have an experience of working at the childcare...the teachers there too are fun to be with~~Wa really tired loR~! Theres goes another day~ Class Timetable is out~Most lessons start at 9am and ends mostly about 3pm or 1pm...thats great...den after class got more time to go out with friends~!yipee~~~!!

Another day pass~!

Today A Really fun day...we had family outing~! we go to Pasir Ris Park...have a picnic there...and we ride bicycle...really so fun~!so long never have such a outing....after all those fun..really can feel the tiredness....but I really did enjoy myself there....hmm...think I monday going to go for interview other jobs...wanna earn some money so can buy Christmas present for my family...give them a surprise...haha...cos that is not my practise..heehee..but that is of I got another job....cos current job is just enough for my daily expenses...muahaha...besides I'm kinda sick of the job...doing nothing much...I like to work at place where I can get to know new friends...Like motorola...haha..missing those days...haiz...yesterday was Shihui birthday but din celebrate with her...like very bad...and we haven give her the present we bought for her...hmm..wanna wish her a Happy Belated Birthday~! thanks for everything....

TesT ReLeasE ToDay~!

8:20am- The moment I wake up..I immediately go and wash up and get into the net...but sad to say...the result is not out...haven sleep well last night..really scared I cant get to the next semester....GOD please bless me that I will get good result...I really did my very best in the exam...I hope you wont disappoint again...disappointment seems to come by me time and time again...I feel like I cant take it anymore...disappointment makes me a less stronger person...if things dont come what expected...please dont give me hope for it...this week seems to be a hopeful week and yet a disappointing week...all those emotions are just full of ups and downs....really tink I cant take this anymore....really feel like going back to the old days....going to school then go out with friends...at least I wont have the stress I'm undergoing and the disappointment coming towards me...continue later....gotta go to childcare liao...later come back then see if the result is out.....

8.37am- Just went back to take a look at the result...Wao...I actually did pass all my subject..though macroeconomics was really bad...but what can I do... I really dont like macro...cos Macro Makes Me Mad...haahaa...so glad I pass all...I bet all my classmates too have score well in theirs....though the result is not very good...but to me I think it is really compromising of my ability...sad to say..I did quite badly for POA and written communication...not what I expected...but all these are over...finally the heavy burdens are released....the week really makes me feel so emotionally uncontrolled.....but the result ends my week with a better mood..thank God for not disappointing me....

Dsappointment....

Wa..yesterday was really a disappointing day lorz...Din get the job...somemore like so nerd..sit outside techpoint for nothing....what's the best is that KokYi oso work here~!...wHat a disappointment...ask us go back after so long of waiting...what a screwed agent...should have organised abit mar...haiz...hmm...words kinda crude hur..but really angry lor...almost cant get home...haiz..worse is that the person i have yearned to see haven come before i left...so sad...travel all the way der and yet to no avail to see him...but saw those friends who are still working der...wao...and yar saw his friend who dao me lor...muahaha...den tink he must be saying about me to him bar...i sneeze all the way back and i had a really sneezy sleep...haha..aiya i think too much liao....so mad about him...heehee...really lor...cos i really like him alot mar...dunno why oso...have that special feelings for him since that very 1st day of work...notice him alot since den...i still remember i 3rd nov 2003 go there work de...haiz...time really pass very fast...like him about 1 year!!wao...such a distant one side love manz...today hope the agent wun disappoint me again....NO!!they just call me ask me dont need to go today!!why must things always go against me!! I think I have to continue to teach at the childcare....I miss him!!

ShouLd I oR ShouLd I noT??

Oh NO~! I have to make decision now!!How???I really want to go back to motorola to work!!But I cant just quit that childcare work...I cant get back in time after work...so I can only take up 1 job...haiz..I really want to go back Motorola and work lehz...I want to work with him~!!!!How??? What can I do??I am very confused...where things can be what I want??I really miss him alot and want to go back and work!!why???why this???At times you give me hope yet all this hope I have been wanting cannot be fulfilled...then why do you still let me see this hope and yet a hope I cant catch....

I'M really very sad...I really wanna see him once more....Should I or should I not???

Miss Miss Miss...i Miss all my friends~!

I'M getting real excited nowadays...gotta catch up with my friends in motorola these few days...really miss those time we had during work...it was so fun...i miss Anqi.Sam.Yubingz.Shihui.Sidi and all those friends i had made during work...really got lots to catch up with you guys...and yar not to forget that special someone who is still working there...he is really a nice guy who never fails to help one in need...really feel fortunate to know you...now always miss so many friends...i also miss TB25...we so long also never go out together le...we fight so much for our exam...i believe we all can get to the next semester together...yeah~! 11 nov...exam result release....God bless everyone pass with flying colours~~

HoLidays KinDa boRed~!

HoLidays are real boring for me...now currently teaching a bunch of naughty kids at the childcare...really had a hard time teaching...they wont listen...think i should get another job?? but who want to hire students for 1 month...haiz..today very bored...use the net whole day...feelings abit mixed up..trying to search for what i want...and to grab them tight...feelings cannot be hidden...but i'm really not good at expressing those...i'm afraid i express the wrong thing and leading to misunderstanding....my feelings for everyone in my life...i treasure them..for everyone plays an important role in my life...and this makes me mature more...i want to clear up all those weird feelings i have... making use if the holiday...to fight in the next semester....yea~!and i will do it!!
I have to let things out...God bless i can make it to the next semester...11 november 2004 comes the result of the exam...May aLL of TB25 get good grades...cheers~!

weLc0me t0 my very own blog....

This is my new blog...where i express every bits of feelings i have for the days...just like a journal unlike the previous one...so filled who those lovey dovey words...that blog will be as http://xxxforeveruxxx.blogspot.com
if anyone is still interested in reading those words i have...feel free to drop by...i just wanna have this place just for myself where i can vent out all feelings i have...for the earth...for my friends...for him...for everyone...maybe i cant express my feelings well...so i might as well write them all down to let you guys understand that i dont mean any other thing harsh...i may not be good at expressing...hence i hope this little blog can let me express whatever i wanna express in words...though maybe a bit insincere...