Why it felt so hurtful?
Is it delibrate??
I guess so.
Somehow so obvious.
Unknowingly the tears flow.
No matter how hard I tried to stop it, it just doesn't listen.
Attach too much feeling into it,
Suddenly need to detach it seems quite tough for me.
Its a love hate feeling!
Struggling with those mixed emotions!!
Geez. Its so torturing!!
Just let me go through this alone...
*puffy eyes*

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Tuesday. Tired.
Well 3 more days to batam with sis, her bf and mum!!
Looking forward!!
At least something I work towards for.
Think abit way too much!!
Nightmares.
Well, how can I stop myself from thinking too much??
Aja aja fwighting!!

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Shagged.
Im the next target board after the previous one was force to leave.
Well, today dunno what got into me..
I msn him...
But he went offline after few lines of communication...
Seemed so distant, yet tears do flow..
Ponder over some quedtions being adked.
And I realised that when i pteviously gave that answer at the pit of anger but truly its he who completes me.
Well, things cant be rewind.
I had changed and realised it.
But, its too late when it had ended.

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When sometimes I thought I am that strong, I realise that feminine part of me.
Needing that shoulder to rely on. Needing that hug to warm the heart.
No need those sweet nothings, just you by my side.
I miss you!
I said it to myself.

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Tuesday.
Kinda disappointed.
Well, I hope it had make me given hope and not pinning that things may happen.
What lost is a gain in another.
Once bitten, twice shy, no more the third time!
Had enough of all those heartbreaking stuffs!
Im aint cut for it!
Far too challenging for me to handle.
Perhaps Im just too slow for the game and I just dun show things, hiding all those feelings.
Thats my character I suppose.
Keeping things to myself...
Pouts! At least blogging is my way of expressing stuff!
Though at time maybe too harsh and overboard.
Geez!
Till then peeps! Gotta prepare for meeting later!

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Had been more than a year.
Looking back, I realised how stubborn, how nonsensical I was.
Perhaps, setbacks make me think better?
Though it wasn't what I meant it to be,
Yet it happened.
Well, seems like it is just me looking back.
Admitting I took everything for granted.
After going through this much, I treasure everything more.
Many times I tried to brave up all the courage I have.
Yet I just don't have the guts to say it.
Maybe its the fear of being rejected,
and all thoughts went through.
Its such a love-hate feeling!!
I'm suffocated by this feeling!!

Silence, it breaks the loudest cry.
For fear of darkness, loneliness is mine.

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