Its Christmas!!!

I have just come home from techpoint...I really very happy lehz...I finally saw him...it is really long since I last see him...but my feelings is mixed when I go there lehz...I give him the present and he is still the same saying that old word thank you...then walk off to his locker...at that time I somehow feel a little disappointed by his attitude...but he is just like that what can I do...as I see him walking off...his back view is what I see...recalling scene of him walking in and me giving him present and then he walks away seem flashing continuously...though all this things happen within 5 mins...it really seems like it take an hour to go....at that moment...I really hope that time could stop so that I could look at him longer...look at him from head to toe...his every expression and body language and his voice...seeing him going inside and start working with the jet...I somehow recall last time...I always peep at him during work and always sit opposite his table during break where we will be facing face to face...even there's no one in front...i would still take peeps at him...besides at work I remember him carefully move apart a large stack of things behind me...as he was discussing how to move it away behind me...I take peeps at him...and I was caught peeping by him...and I blushed immediately...as he moves the things away...I turned so red hot...though everything is all just one sided mindset...I really do treasure every moment I can see or even take peeps at him....to me all this was so memorable to me....apart from seeing him...I meet up with shelia before going to techpoint...we chat alot and I hope that our friendship will last forever....today is full of memories....I Love the worklife there....

MeMoRiEs No1 caN SteaL

FoR iT sHaLL StAy tiLL

FoRevEr~!

Christmas round the corner....

Christmas Season is round the corner and i'm so excited about this festive season...I have bought something for him...but really dunno how to give him...I had made up mind to go back to motorola and give him the present I bought for him....I'm really very scared that he might just throw the present away...but I believe he wont do that....I planning to meet up with shelia so that I could give her her present...so excited...so long never see shelia and friends from motorola...really missing those days we had....
Merry Christmas to all~!

Bad History Bothers ME....

I am kinda confused...have mixed feelings now...I seem to cant find out why I am what I am now...I used to be very outgoing, sociable, sporty...but that side of me faded away long ago...and now I am so quiet, inferior, keep things to myself... thats not me!! Having search my souls for the life I have been going through...is it because of that bad experience I had during the end of Sec 1 which keeps reminding me that I am a bad girl and nobody wants to befriend me... ever since that first IS class of this semester...I have been thinking....why I just cant express myself rightfully...why cant I be opened up and speak more... where have that chatty me gone to... am I who I used to be?? I want to find my true self...ever since that experience ...I feel that people despise me... I feel so inferior and so sad... does that mean that ones make a mistake and for life, cant be reform?? This have been hindering me for 5 years... and now I really want to face it... I want to change to that previous me where I smile deep from my heart... and chat like theres never ending topics... If the person who together we are involve in that bad experience sees this... I want to say:' Though this thing make me fall in a deep dark hole where I cant climb out of it up till now, I never regret the things we had done.Hope you will get your desired happiness and find the true light in your future.' Things done cant be changed and for that bad experience I just have to accept and move on...but this experience brought me darkness and inferiority... having clear thoughts about it... I know those inferior thoughts will bring me nowhere... from now on I'm going to change that inferiority in me, that timidness in me, every pessimistic thoughts I have... and I hope changes will do me better and that my friends will accept this changed me(my usual self)... it really seems I am a problematic girl which needs counselling...but I think I am able to cope with it... thank God for being there when I am in need of you...

ps: EXPERIENCE IS PART OF LIFE...IT MAKES ONES GROW INTO A STRONGER PERSON.

Moody me~!

Weather: cLoudy
Location: my friends house
Emotions: moody

ToDay No ScHooL...Kinda still brooding over the things that happened few days ago...Really too many things happen...Though they really meant me well but i really believe that he's a nice person...after all humans have temper...need to say him...I believe in him and that what said is just at the fit of anger...I know he is the sort of the ah bengs...but he is not those extreme kinda who fight,smoke and does those that one ah beng does...don't ask me how I know it...I just know it...so long never see all my friends...really hope to catch up with them...i miss so them so much especially Anqi, Sam, Yubing,shihui,sidi,stacy,fangz,etc...so long never see them...haiz..Life so full of ups and downs....really need alot of courage to face all those...but having all those friends by my side supporting me, encouraging me...I believe things will turn out better...at least I know I am being cared and concern for...thanks alot to you guys...you all really help me to persevere more and to be able to bravely face those problems rushing on me... through this I have learnt to be stronger and you all made me believe that i'm not alone facing those problems....hope that all those problems will soon be solved...
Msg to all my friends:

,,,.+' i wiLL '+,
(,") siT hEre
((")(") & pRay
i h0pE tHaT tHe PeRs0N

wHo'S rEaDiNG tHiS wiLL bE bLeSsEd

wiTh evErLaStiNg hApPiNesS aNd

sMiLe aLwAyz...tAkE CaRe 0f y0uRseLF

aNd kEep iN coNtaCt w0r~!

I'm back~!

Back home...And there's so many things happen during these few days...I'm so stressed out by all those things...School starting tomorrow...And I miss him a lot...Someone told me he is more bad tempered nowadays...What can I do...He's an ah beng type that I like...But he's a very nice guy with driveness and is very hardworking....why people keep discouraging me to persevere the belief I have... saying we are worlds apart(ah beng and good ger).... I believe my eyes my taste.... I like his attitude of getting everything done nicely... In my eyes I see only him... he must be the one... I would just have to keep on trying... let nature take it course....i will still be there waiting for him....new semester coming..and it seems that this new semester arent going to be giving me an easy life to lead...i'm going to work doubly hard for everything...just as hardworking as him...so excited about school tomorrow...get to see my classmates...so long never see them...miss them much....school starting tomorrow...well see you guys soon~!