I am kinda confused...have mixed feelings now...I seem to cant find out why I am what I am now...I used to be very outgoing, sociable, sporty...but that side of me faded away long ago...and now I am so quiet, inferior, keep things to myself... thats not me!! Having search my souls for the life I have been going through...is it because of that bad experience I had during the end of Sec 1 which keeps reminding me that I am a bad girl and nobody wants to befriend me... ever since that first IS class of this semester...I have been thinking....why I just cant express myself rightfully...why cant I be opened up and speak more... where have that chatty me gone to... am I who I used to be?? I want to find my true self...ever since that experience ...I feel that people despise me... I feel so inferior and so sad... does that mean that ones make a mistake and for life, cant be reform?? This have been hindering me for 5 years... and now I really want to face it... I want to change to that previous me where I smile deep from my heart... and chat like theres never ending topics... If the person who together we are involve in that bad experience sees this... I want to say:' Though this thing make me fall in a deep dark hole where I cant climb out of it up till now, I never regret the things we had done.Hope you will get your desired happiness and find the true light in your future.' Things done cant be changed and for that bad experience I just have to accept and move on...but this experience brought me darkness and inferiority... having clear thoughts about it... I know those inferior thoughts will bring me nowhere... from now on I'm going to change that inferiority in me, that timidness in me, every pessimistic thoughts I have... and I hope changes will do me better and that my friends will accept this changed me(my usual self)... it really seems I am a problematic girl which needs counselling...but I think I am able to cope with it... thank God for being there when I am in need of you...
ps: EXPERIENCE IS PART OF LIFE...IT MAKES ONES GROW INTO A STRONGER PERSON.
1 comment:
To Jie Bin~
Ah.. sry i juz happen to look into ur bloggy... well jie bin, Definitely must nt have such a feeling, cos ur the one n only best guide buddy i would ever ha... >< well, mayb it juz u can't get use to it, but slowly, u'll get use to it.. n i truely belive u'll.. have faith.. u can turn to me if u need me ^^ kekez.. i love ya.. muck
Your Sincerely,
Ba|aba
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