Ever since the last two weeks..she has been ignoring me...have i done something that make her irritated...i really dint noe...cos at that period of time...depression just suppress me down..i really dint mean to be doing the things that makes you angry...i know there is no excuse to all those...and i am really sorry to this friend...i really dunno how to express my feelings to her...all my apologies and sorries i wanna sae...i just cant express myself well...i so scared they may misinterpret leading to misunderstanding...i hope she could forgive me...i know forgiveness is never easy...but i really wanna say a million..a trillions..many zillions of sorries...i am so sorry...if you ever read my blog...can you forgive my sillyness? i know i must have made you very angry that you dont even wanna talk to me...haiz...i really treasure every friends i meet...i know it is hard to meet someone in life for it takes many lifetimes to meet every single person on earth...so i really dont wanna things to threaten our friendship...i am really sincere in solving it...Today...I just keep quiet...all the way...i thought about alot of things...during every blank period...really thought about preciousness of life and relationship among each other...just hope things will be going on fine....this year seems to be rather disasterous...only saddness, depression, disappointment, loneliness...i am feeling so lost...i just cant find my aim in life...as pheywen ask me what is my ambition...i initially thought of being a psychologist...but i cant even control my psychological feelings...how could i help others?? for now i am just taking walks and not knowing where to walk to...i feel that i am such a failure...that cheerful me is just gone in the wind when i do all these blogging...all this true feelings of mine seems to differ so much from the smiling me...i sumtimes think i had "Xin Ge Fen Lie"...

Today..seems not bad...saw the aloysious from PCK at the atrium( dunno what is his name)...he looks better than last time we saw him on bus...they say things about handling relationship upon studies...really very meaningful...but i din listen to all...cos i meet my friend to buy things from the bazaar...actually wana take student card but haven open..so i left..think only friday then i can take...just went to Shop N Save to buy things for tonight dinner...i had dine marketing since yesterday...oh my..i look so auntie...haha...last of all...really wanna apologise to her in person...but really dunno how to open to her...hope tomorrow i can do it...hope she wont feel irritated...i just somehow feel that she dislike me...but scared she will dislike me more when i apologise...HOW???hope tomorrow will be a better day...gotta go prepare for the presentation for ob....blog another time....