Wa...today have tennis lesson again...today is definitely not my day...have clash with tennis ball?? i kena hit by jason and clifford ball lor...pain lehz...especially that jason was really hard...now got bruise at the leg...sobsob..my mother is gonna rub it!!haiz...today i din did well for the play...i was like loss of words...i forget all my scripts...and i was so freak off and very nervous...come to think about all the others play...i seemed to be the role winnie was playing...that inferior girl with some special significant in her...and so kept to herself...i am that!! i scared of friendship for i scared betrayal when i really treasure the friendship we had...there was once...i had a really very good friend...i always bear with her by all those betrayal...until one day i came to the light...i knew she is just using me on projects, helping her doing stuffs...i really scared that all things will just reoccur...and thats why i am so slow to open up with people around me...but once i assure myself that they are not like her...i will get very close to them...hmm...like that of stacy, wen,ling,mei,hui,ah boi,fen, we are so close that we have not even quarrel with each other before...especially with stacy...our 7 yrs of friendship...how times really fly...but it seems that i am getting inferior because i dont quite open up with friends and bad at expressing myself...often i really scared that they may misunderstood me...and "sorry" is a word i often used...not becos i am so insincere about the word...but is the fearing that there may be misunderstanding...maybe you can see i am too self conscious or sensitive....but i just dont wanna people misunderstood me...cos i only mean friendly...think i have a real big problem with communication...tts why i always get border line marks for written and oral communication???But i really like to talk alot...it is just that sometimes i am so afraid that i may say things at the wrong time...haiz..i wanna change this character of me that develops in me slowly from that of Sec 2 till now.....i think it is getting worse...oh my...think i need counselling...wahaha...autism?? think so lehz...so zi bi...aniway...i gonna be brave...get over all my shyness...blush all i want and get all presentations done well once and for all...i hope i can do that...i really let down phey wen.deeyana.wenquan.sisi...i did badly on the play...really sorrie lehz...haiz...i am not prone to this..i just get nervous and forget all my lines...really sorry...i really feel apologetic...this week i must dare myself to everything to prepare for this week ocom presentation...i want to let them see that side of me...not that quiet.shy and good for nothing ger...hope i can do it...tell you on wednesday on the result...heehee...but ms thea say our ocom test did quite badly...haiz...oh no....kk lar...blog nxt time...aniwae i seem to write alot liao...oppz...gotta do cip and ocom presentation slides....jiayou all~