A letter to M

I wanna write this true story down...its a letter of true feelings on relationship with M which was never expressed....Abit sad...

A letter to M

Do you know why I tear that letter you ask someone to give me? Its because I just cant find any reason why you would not want to ask me face to face. But I know that call you made turned out worst.I was just saying things not with my heart. My jitterings of not wanting to answer your question of :"Do you love me?" Its just hard for me. I do not want to end the relationship but I still have to do it. I do not want to let down my parents. If I had said I still love you, what will be of us? For I really love you real deep, yet I know you did not know. From the beginning, you love me not because you really do love me. Somehow I feel that your love for me is just because I love you. The day I lend you my textbook and you returned me with a note asking me if I like you. At that moment, I was confused as to whether I should tell you my true feelings. I asked my friends and they encouraged me to speak up what's in my heart. During recess, you came up to me and asked. I bravely said I like you and that begins our relationship. Before our relationship starts, we by chance met you at your house when I was bringing my cousin back and saw you down the lift. I was delighted at that moment, I thought we are so fated to meet and that you must be that one. Ever since we started our relationship, we would always go home together. We waited for the bus to go back to your house. I confessed I did not tell you the truth that I was not going to my aunt house for tuition. It just that I want to accompany you home. The reason why I did not tell you the truth is because I do not want you to know that I love you so much that I really can not bear even a minute without having you by my side. After that incident and having gone for a camp, I realise the importance of family. The sudden change in the attitude of mine towards you is just so huge. Do you think I really want it? You really do not know how much courage I need to ignore you and do things not of my wantings. After that phone call, everything ended, you seemed like nothing had happened and that gave me heartache. You really never love me before. That goes my first relationship. The purpose of writing this letter is not to expressed that I still love you, its just to let you know my sudden change and the emotional struggle I had. The answer I have been looking to the question:" Did You Love Me At That Time?" is still a mist. My first encounter of relationship ended up just like that.

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