Have been feeling TIRED & SICK.....
Thats summarise my week....

Somehow I'm feeling lost....
No directon in life...
No kick in life....
No motivation....
Dragging legs to move on everyday...
How bored life can be....

Really starting to think.....Is it me?? Or really ****!!!
Its getting on my nerves and really affecting me alot!!
My mood, my emotions, my thoughts!!

Tsk Tsk.
How bad life can be....
And ppl is now comparing who can be worse than oneself....Isnt it SARCASTIC?

Dun wanna talk about it.
Had enough.

Update!!
Lol. Went to Bintan over the good friday holiday~! LOL.
It is FUN!!!
Thats is really a good rest taken. Ha! A good rest takes you to move further yar?!
Let's move on to the details.
This trip to Bintan is with the 4 musketeers!! LOL. ME. Toots. Doreen N VIC!!!
When we reach the beach, we simply just can't resist to go towards the sea!!
The water is SO CLEAN & BLUE!!!
Here are some photos....
Beginning of our Journey....



The 2 Couples on Camera!



The 1st Couple!



US!! LOL!

Toots Poses! *Captured By ME*




Acting Superman??


Another David Beckam??





Now Its ME!


Jump!


More Photos.



Sweety hur?



The SunRise



Another one here..




When the Sun Finally came.



Definitely have a pics with this scenary!!

The Sunset!



Beautiful??!!






Another with the Toots!



Walking down the beach... Romantic hur??

Home!!



Our 1st Couple Shirt!! POLO SHIRT! LoL!



Hmmm...Toots is reluctant to go home...

NO good mood at all.....

NO ONE understand me.....

NO MC to be taken though I coughing the hell out of my lungs

NO stand to voice out my feelings

NO ONE care about me.....

I'm just like a toy.....

Manipulate by others

Taken for granted

Being throw here and there

Being uncared

Swallow everything to the stomach

Have to follow whatever people says

Unwanted

Always pick on me

What's to my life???

Updates!!

21 Mar 09

We went prawning at Jurong Hilltop!!! Thanks to the TOOTS bugging to go prawning!!
Our prize of 8 prawns from 3hrs of prawning session!! http://lokkokglamour.blogspot.com/2009/03/prawning-nite.html
Yar!!!
Highlights of the prawning session:
TOOTS being SUPER SISSY!!!! Don't dare to touch the prawn. (Yar hor.. I am always the man one)
TOOTS caught 6 prawns in the last 30mins!!! (Oh....Thats after the guy add in prawn, they should have added in prawn every hour!)
TOOTS freak out when the prawn wriggle while we are trying to unhook the prawn from the bait. (As per TOOTS, he DON'T LIKE Slimmy stuff)

LOL. After that we cooked it!!! Poked the prawn using those satay sticks!!
Yum Yum!!! The prawn is delicious!!! We didn't add any flavor and it just taste so NICE!!!

It was a nice trip though....

Update!!

LOL!! Had been not feeling well this few days.... Haiz....with all those sniffing and coughing.... Well I guess....I really need loads of rest.... Have been exhausted by work....All the stress coming in.... HAIZ.... And all the changes.... Had nightmares almost every night!!! ALL ABOUT WORK!!! It is HAUNTING me!!! I am very stressed up!!! Not even the stress ball can release all my stress!!! Tsk Tsk. Wads more!!! Someone SUSPECTING ME of taking frequent MC. Yar right!! You are the ROOT of it CAN!!!

I dun think there is any company who will FREEZE employer's leave for 3 WHOLE MONTHS!!!! Its freaking me!!! I never been to a company whereby the employee's welfare is so unimportant to them!!!

Task! I got loads of complaints...... Haiz... I just have to swallow everything down... Small fry has no say in the company... If I can choose.... I would leave...... Seriously... I may die of exhaustion working here.... Maybe its me that I can't handle the stress??? LOL! I hope thats the only reason!!! How nice if the boss won't anyhow shoot her employees!!! How nice if the boss doesn't scold her employees by saying that how good she can do it if she is in the employee's position!! How nice if the boss doesn't praise herself and indirectly humilate her employees!!

Sniff Sniff. Cough Cough.

Gttg le. Time to have dinner and take medicine le.

Updates

WOW!!! Realised that I haven been blogging!!! Revive My Bloggie!!! Lol. Anyway... Nothing much to blog about too...Life have been just that insane....With the financial crisis....Everyone is pushing each other...Task Task....It really shows how the change in the environment reflects one's true self??
Hmmm.....Yesterday was the 5th Month!!!! Lol. Seems like have been together for quite a long period...
Haha. Opps. Revealing something finally hur?? Lol.
Yesterday we went to MDIS open hse....And "Toots!" went to apply for the business degree course!!! Lol. I din really tot he is serious in studying... Opps. Bleah. After that we went to Ikea for shopping...LOL. Hurhur. Then to Anchor point where we found this rubiz cube that really attracts "Toots!"... And he just simply start playing it once he bought it.... Feeling bored... I just joined him with the miniature that he bought on fri as stated.
This is really the only toy that really test my patience. LOL. I did have that toy when I was young. Being impatience, I simply just swap the sticker. LOL. Mischievous hur.
Yar!! Thats me!!! LOL.
Its Sunday le.... How fast the weekend past!!! And I had decided le??? Going UOL for my business Degree?? Lol. I shall see how for the open house next week....

Gttg le~ Going to Ah Gong house. Today is his BIRTHDAY!!!! YEAH~!!! I got helped my mum to fry food for Ah Gong!!! Lol!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY 'GONG GONG'~!!!!

How time passed!!!! Another year GONE!!!! LOL!!!! Time for another new year resolution!!!
Hurhur!! Haven really though about what kind of resolutions should I plan to achieve. Will update on my resolutions of the year soon.... Have been reflecting on the things done last year.... There are saddness and achievements....Loads of ups and downs though....In general....I really do hope this year will be a better year.... Hopefully life can be abit more smoother???

握着你的手一路走来 

是你让我活的很精彩 

你给的幸福呢? 

都在我心里了!

以前的 

甜甜的 

变淡了 

爱情呢 

为什么 

不见了 

以前的 

那个我 

不见了 

为什么 

好堕落 

想多了 

生活一旦没了动力 

活着也不在有意义 

一个人没人会在乎 

伤心时只能默默哭 

就算所有人不了解 

我有的斗志已全没 

Today's Alex last day of work... Hurhur. I did a super BIG ERROR!!! In one order, I can make 2 SERIOUS ERROR!! Today is super NOT my day!!What's more its Ailing's order. Pricing error and duplicate item! Arghz. I dunno wads wrong with me today. Just unable to stay focus with the serious headache that come and go consistently... Can I take a break??? I seriously need a break??? December leave freeze.... When can I have my break?? Today really totally break down can?? In one day!! I can have so many errors!!! Well?? I seriously need to talk to the team leader?? Cos the errors is getting high...And my level of concentration is limiting...Tsk tsk. Sobx. Anyway.. After work went out with Alex and all for Sichuan Steamboat.. Hurhur. Celebrate his freedom from RS?? Hurhur... Eat alot lor!! Mary keep giving me food!! LOL!! There goes my diet... Haiz. I cant stop thinking about the issues lei!! Work Work Work!! Its always around me!! Even when I sleep I still can dream about loading orders and doing credit notes for my errors. Arghz. Guess I need some changes.... Be it ME, MY JOB SCOPE or the COMPANY.

This few days I am not in the correct mind....Headache + STRESSED = SUPER SERIOUS MOOD SWING!!! Had been doing quite alot of errors this few days... I think my concentration level has reached a limit... I seriously thinking I need a long break... The stress that comes in really can make me tear and break down like no one business... Always error... I know I am super careless... And always kena big issues...I think this job is really not suitable for me...somehow??? And I dunno why I can work there for like going 1 yr.... Need a job change or take up the challenge to improvise on my carelessness?? Serious speaking its not that I don't like the people I'm working with, I think its my errors that really makes me reconsidering.... Anyway... The letter is already there sealed... Its just the matter of time when I really can't stand the errors that I made and just tender...Though I know the currently economy downturn is really that bad...I don't mind getting a lower paid job and I really enjoyed the work that I am doing... Service is the job that I think I really wants... But currently... I don't think I am in the service industry... I feel more like an operation worker or rather an operator??? Keying in orders, taking orders??? And who knows maybe they have been wanting to retrench me?? Just that they want me to resign??

我总相信你讲的话 

不管讲的是真是假 

只要有你在我身边 

就能让我笑的很甜

我喜欢这样的看着你 

想想你到底爱不爱我 

想想你到底在乎什么 

此刻只想用真心爱你

别说... 

我们还是朋友, 

因为那会放大我隐藏着的寂寞. 

别说.. 

你最近还好吗, 

因为那只是你问候的随口说. 

别说... 

那些抱歉的话, 

因为它已经被谎言给撕破. 

如果我们在一起...

如果我们在一起... 

我会很依赖着你. 

但我独自安静不表明.. 

心里一直怕来不及... 

也没有表白的勇气. 

只希望一切会被聆听..

遇到雨天, 

我突然想念着你那暖暖的拥抱. 

给我温暖的肩膀靠着 

握住我双手, 

融化所有冰冷. 

你的依靠, 

让我习惯了依赖着你.

梦醒了.. 

一切回到原点. 

是该醒了... 

爱是不会自己敲门的. 

是要自己去争取的. 

一时来的勇气, 也许还不足够. 

PS: 害怕是爱最致命的阻碍...

傻瓜.. 

明明知道你却不表明 

傻瓜.. 

明明在你身边你却让他擦肩而过 

傻瓜.. 

明明他对你好你却当作理所当然 

傻瓜.. 

明明做对了选择你却放弃了

I very no use!!!! Sobx!!!!*CRY* Really stressed up!!!!

PS: Dun mind me. I just need some means to vent it out.

OT today. I dunno why. Had really stressed by ytd!!! Went to toilet alot of times hur. ( no need to elaborate on that) Today is also stressed de!!! Sobx. I believe I had really put in my very best to do whatever I can but yet it all hits and contradicts with the result. Doubts came in and hit the confidence. Perhaps its really that my productivity is not that good. TskTsk. *Will reflect on that*

PS: I want to be a HAPPY GIRL!!!!!

Stressed!!! Getting the heat nowadays!!! Need stress relief!!! But really very comforting to receive someone's SMS. *touched* Though seldom received his SMS, yet that SMS is really one that I need!!! Somehow when I very stressed I see that SMS, will feel abit comforting. Had been overstressing myself alot. Dunno why. Cry very easily. Tears just cannot control. Tsk Tsk. I always like to keep things just to myself. Hur hur. Till then peeps~

PS: Stressed can be desserts if you can reversed!!!

能够牵手的时候， 

别只是并肩走。

能够拥抱的时候， 

别只是手牵手。 

爱着对方的时候，

一定要说出口。 

好人与滥好人之间的差别, 在于是否有足够的自信去坚持该有的原则。

女人的心思很奇怪, 男人的也不赖.
男人总说女人心海底针, 他们也不一样吗?
所以说, 找一个了解自己的另一伴是不容易的.
女人总说自己要找符合自己标准的男人, 但相爱时, 谁会如此在意那所谓的标准呢?

爱情是一种感觉
如空气般看不见
让人没有安全感

把对你的思念养成习惯
也让给的关怀成了自然

喜欢看些爱情电影, 有时眼泪如雨水流淌, 停也停不住.
那是因为无法面对自己的故事哭, 才借着别人的故事哭.
也许这也是抒发情绪的一种吧....

人往往在迟钝中得到爱 

PS: 其实爱情已经悄悄的来到, 只是自己却不知道....

誓言与谎言

喜欢动人的誓言 

讨厌虚伪的谎言 

誓言却往往以谎言的形式而出现 

所以誓言必须宽容不安全的谎言

第一次喜欢上一个人 

有着黑白配的不可能 

任性的喜欢着那个人 

那一切情感才是最真 

对你的思念已成了习惯 

你却把它当作理所当然 

这一天我决定放下一切 

再也不要当爱情的傀儡 

也许白天不懂夜的黑 

但是黑白却如此绝配...

想对你说: 我要我们在一起~!!!! 

只是没那勇气说出口的我, 把一切对你的情感埋藏在心中. 

也许懦弱的我, 需要多一点的自信.

当我们不在一起
做朋友会更合适...

说好了不会再牵挂 

说好了要选择放下 

偏偏我却无法释怀 

让所有的情感放下 

一直拼命灌醉自己 

那伤痛却那么清晰 

不管灌了再多的酒 

眼泪一直在心里流 

如果最美好的早已留在心中 

那再多选择也只会无动于衷 

曾经给过的感触 

已因时间而模糊 

只怕所谓的孤独 

把那情感给麻木

那所谓的无奈 

总是说不明白 

那一切的告白 

只因你而灌溉 

我想学会释怀 

不再为爱感慨 

你忽然抱紧着我 

脑袋却一片空白 

那笑容多么温柔 

让我想用心对待 

那时最后的告别 

你却对我说谢谢 

你松开了我的手 

不回头的离开我 

为什么总不知觉流眼泪 

在寂寞时会莫名的伤悲 

我的心到底还在守着谁 

喜欢一个人不会疲惫 

爱上一个人绝不后悔 

就算爱会伤悲流眼泪 

就算喜欢却没人来陪 

爱情还是会那么甜美 

因为我曾为爱勇敢追 

一直默默的承受 

每次看着你走的背后 

你总这样对我说 

我们比较适合当朋友

所有与你的对白 

感觉那么的无法替代 

有时会有所期待 

你会懂得我对你的爱 

执着的我一直寻找勇气 

抛开一切寻找新的美丽 

倔强的我始终没有决心 

把我对你的情感化成零 

我让自己多喝了几杯 

始终无法让自己喝醉 

你的离开我多么狼狈 

拼命强忍不准掉眼泪 

我以为我做的很完美 

说服自己已经无所谓 

努力假装幸福不伤悲 

却掩饰不了一切心碎 

对着照片一直发呆 

想你的心一直狂跳 

期望那一刻能从来 

与你接触的那几秒 

Today meet up with Pap, Momo, Xin, Yun and Jess for dinner at boat quay!! Huggies!!! So long never see Jess le!!! Finally get to catch up with her!! Miss you loads hur.( from all those rebuking..LOL) wahaha! Celebrate my birthday at the restaurant. Thanks alot all!! There got fireworks due to the arts festival!! Very nice!!! Wahaha. Though the tomato incident was abit amusing hur...Wahaha. After dinner we went to Pap and momo house and chill. Stay till quite late then go home. Have a wonderful day with them!! Huggies!! I LOVE THEM ALL!!!! Muacks!!! Thanks for everything!!

因为爱你曾经铬心刻骨 

回想起一切也不再想哭...

爱会让人变得愚蠢 

而从中显露那单纯... 

舍不得你我不曾说, 

对你的思念存许多.... 

PS: 你知道吗?

熟悉的画面在脑海中浮现 

有许多的情绪变得好明显 

回忆着最初相遇的那一天 

原来对你的思念从不改变 

只把自己的情绪封锁 

不敢对爱有任何期待 

也许习惯一个人生活 

所以把爱拒千里之外

我不听从所谓的安排 

欺骗自己你还会回来 

眼泪却那么的想不开 

让依赖你的我不明白 

能与你相遇我很快乐 

你给我的回忆是好的 

笑过哭过这不算什么 

因为认真所以难割舍 

爱情不必看得很清楚 

偶尔也会不小心迷路 

总是浮现在我脑海中 

却是你那羞涩的笑容 

每个人都有不同态度 

每个人追求不同幸福 

有人会把伤心塞满肚 

有人却活得很有风度 

把世界看得那么清楚 

最终还是那么不满足 

复杂的情绪

那些简单的言语 

只说给懂的人听 

那些复杂的情绪 

不停了乱我的心 

有时会想念 希望一切不曾改变 

对你的眷恋 存在着默默的暗恋 

爱情就像窗外的雨滴, 

蒸发后依然留下痕迹. 

Haven't been able to blog as often than before. Have been doing loads of OTs. Lacking of SLEEP!! Haven't been able to sleep well. There comes my eyebags!! Arghz. So stressed and tensed up even when I sleep!! OMG! Oh well. Work is freaking out of my nerves!! Making me not ME!! Social time is left so minimal!!! Didn't have much time to get out with friends to chill out!!! I missed all my friends!!!! Huggies. TB22! TB25! GSK Dearies!! Miss them loads!!!They are friends that I wouldn't want to lose contact with!!!! I want to spend time with them!!! Reduce my OTs!!!! I think I seriously need a change of job. I think I'm not suitable for a routine job whereby I always process orders and handle calls everyday. A very dead thing to do. LOL. And I must really apologise to all my friends. Sorry for not able to meet up and catch up with you guys. Was asked to do OTs this few days. Sobx. Hopefully next month will be a better one. Looking forward to Good Friday~! Wohooo~! Mum's and Dad's birthday is next! Till then peeps~!

Sis's Birthday

March has came!!! OMG!!! I have been working there for like 2 months!!! I'm still not into their environment. I think working there is like really no life at all!!! Always work OTs!! And even not paid for some of the OTs(only can claim up to 20hrs) Lucky I do not need to do any OT today!! Yawnz. Didn't sleep well yesterday. Anyway I haven't been sleeping well since I started working there. So stressed up and often dream about work stuff. Making sleeping so stressed up. Arghz. Even on weekends I still get so tensed up about work! Tsk. This kind of work pressure is killing me! I miss those days in GSK!!! I have met nice people there!!! *感慨着* Anyway today is my younger sis birthday. Accompany my youngest sis to help her take her tablet, then we headed to collect the cake I ordered from awfully chocolate. I bought the chocolate banana. It was YUMMY! Haha. Then we went to Soup Restaurant for dinner. Full-filled dinner by ME! Lol.

PS: 人生充满无奈, 总是让人感慨. ..

New Year 2008

Have been long since I last update my blog! Have been really busy. Work is stress as usual. Last wednesday meet yun and momo go out for lunch!! I miss them loads!! Very long never see Cindy and Jess le! Hugs. My new year resolution!! Here it goes!

Firstly, I really need to settle down on what I really want in the future and not being so indecisive on what I want. Have been always changing plans.
Secondly, I shall really decide on which field shall I further my studies. Be it the business line or the design line that I had been considering about too.
Thirdly, really need to slim down!! Too fat le!! After CNY, eating those biscuits and 'bak gua'.
Fourthly, the attitude to life bar!! Should really live life the fullest!! Do meaningful stuff and not being so stress up by the hectic working life.
Fifthly, I want to enhance my knowledge!! Be it world issues, general knowledge or even lifestyle ideas.
Sixthly, I want to enlarge my social circle too!! Get to know even more people!! Get to know people from different field of life.
Seventhly, be a fillial child?? Eh. I think I did my best le though at times will still make mum angry. But sometimes really....nvm.
Lastly, hmm...my friends say this one die die must write down. =X Get a boyfriend this year. LOL. Heyhey. I will try harder bar. LOL! But I'm not desperate wor.

Thats my 8 lines of 2008 resolution. Abit difficult to achieve lei. Haha. But I will work harder for this new year. A new year marks a new beginning. Let's move on in this better year bar~! Let's welcome a better year ahead~ Take care peeps~

CNY eve

New year eve. Half day work. Really busy at work. So many calls to handle. Cos some went to play Jackpot. Hehe. Our dept won alot!!! LOL! Then we had 'Yusheng' at the end. Went to meet the spree organizer to collect my bag at vivocity. LOL. She took the wrong color. Ahaha. Nvm. Bought New York Pizza home. Then start spring cleaning le. Super tired. Till then lo!! Prepare for the countdown of the lunar new year. Have a great 'mousy' year peeps~! Loves.

开心与伤心

为什么开心的事总一下就过去 

而伤心的事却在心里停留很久 

那是因为有些开心的事 

只有自己才能找出来的.

Reunion

Sunday! Had reunion lunch with Pap, Momo, Cindy, Li Yun and Jessie!!! Huggies!!! Miss them loads!!We went to Causeway Point! Had Soup Restaurant. Yum Yum. Feel the warmth of having eating lunch together!!! Its really very comforting!! Like a Family!!! After the full lunch we went to walk around Causeway Point. Then, Cindy went off early. She went to met her friend. After that, we all also went back. Me and Yun went to Jurong Point but the coslab was closed when we reached. Then we walked around Jurong Point for a while. After that I had to go to alexandra for my reunion dinner with my relatives. LOL. Wasn't that nice. Had 'Yusheng' twice for the day!!! LOL. Sleepy. Tmr have to work. Till then peeps. Looking forward to CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!!Take care everyone!!!

就像河水从来不会逆流
对你的感觉也不会回头

Friday

FRIDAY!!!! WOHOOO!!! HAVE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD FOR THE WEEKEND!!!! Did quote today. Yawnz. Heavy work load. LOL! Yesterday had OT! Haven buy new year clothes!!! Tommorrow going to buy it!!!! Sunday having reunion lunch with momo, pap, Cindy, Jessie and Yun!!!! I miss them loads!!!!! Hugs. I really miss them!!!! The times we had together!!!!! Sobx Sobx. Still miss them loads!!! Will tear because I really miss them. Looking forward to this weekend!!! Till then.

Tuesday

Tuesday. Work as usual. Yesterday had OT. SUPER TIRED. HAIZ. STRESSED. Working is really tiring. Am I not prepared to be in the working life? LOL! Sleepy lor! Dreading to work everyday. Deprieving of SLEEP!!! YAwnz. Need to catch some sleep. I miss everyone!

Saturday

Saturday! Went to Bugis with sis. Saw uncle Ho at bugis village. LOL! So long never see him le. Went to buy clothes for my sis. After that meet up with mum and dad for dinner. Had Banana Leaf at Little India. Yum Yum. Hehe. Tired. Had alot of walking. Till then. Nitez peeps.

Friday

Friday. Alot of people went off early for the DND which I didn't go. Left a few of us in the office. Loads of phone calls came in. I was taught how to pick up calls!!! The first time I picked up the call!!! OMG!!! Had a freak out of my life!!! I really scared I offended any customers. LOL. Cos last time I used to call supplier. Hehe! So we don't need to be too polite. LOL!!! Wahaha. I understand the stress they were talking about though I didn't experience the full impact yet. LOL! Yawnz. Need some sleep!! My weekend CAME FINALLY!!!! I love weekends!!! Need beauty sleep. Till then peeps.

OT the 2nd time

Wednesday! Just came back from work. Today OT till 8.30!! LOL!! SUPER TIRED!!! Am REALLY STRESSED!!! Loads of work to do!!! I really scared I can't do well in this job. Find myself abit careless and forgetful!!! Weird nei. Isit I stress myself too much?? Or am I finding excuses??Tsk Tsk. Need to catch some sleep. Nitez. Weekend!!! I'm looking forward to it EVERY WEEK!!!! Till then.

Sunday~!

Sunday!! Just came back from JB!! Today went to the chinese mass. LOL! Then went JB with Momo, Pap and Cindy!!! Hehe. I miss them loads!!! Huggies. We so long never go out together le!!! We went to do pedicure. Now leg abit itchy. Kinda abit sensitive to the chemical they used. Then went to the saloon and had a haircut. Hehe. Cindy dye her hair red!!! VERY NICE!!!! Then me and Cindy went to westmall. Had dinner and walked around. Hehe. Yawnz. Tmr still have to work. FREAK! Dragging to work again. Tsk Tsk. I missed GSK!!! I love working there!!

Department Dinner

Friday. Just came back from the department dinner at sakura. Had a lot of food. Super FULL!!!! LOL!!! Food was not bad!! Yawnz. Sleepy after a full dinner!!! Finally my WEEKEND came!!!! WOHOOOO!!!!! I'm loving it!!! Shall catch some sleep for tommorrow's SHOPPING!!!!! WOHOOOO~! Till then peeps.

Meet up @ Vivo

Today meet up with Cindy, Jessie and Yun at VIVO!!!! I miss them loads!!! I REALLY MISS THEM!!!! HUGS!!!! I really LOVE them LOADS!!!!! Will always miss them when I'm at work. Missing those days we took bus together, had lunch together, ST'ing each other about spree stuffs. Arghz!!! I miss those days!!!! Getting late. Need to catch some sleep. Did OT yesterday. Abit tired. Till then.

Sunday

Sometimes love just ain't enough

I don't wanna lose you,
But I don't wanna use you
Just to have somebody by my side.
And I don't wanna hate you,
I don't wanna take you,
But I don't wanna be the one to cry.
And that don't really matter to anyone anymore.
But like a fool I keep losing my place
And I keep seeing you walk through that door.

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
And it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough.

Now, I could never change you,
I don't wanna blame you.
Baby, you don't have to take the fall.
Yes, I may have hurt you,
But I did not desert you.
Maybe I just wanna have it all.

It makes a sound like thunder,
It makes me feel like rain.
And like a fool who will never see the truth,
I keep thinking something's gonna change.
And there's no way home,
When it's late at night and you're all alone.
Are there things that you wanted to say?
Do you feel me beside you in your bed,
There beside you, where I used to lay?

And there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
And it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough.
Baby, sometimes, love...
It just ain't enough.
Oh...

PS:
This song somehow came to my mind. Especially 'there's a danger in loving somebody too much'. I agree with this. Loving somebody too much will just hurt oneself. Love? Why have it to be so challenging and dangerous? Is Love have to involved hurt and despair?? Being stubborn, believing that I have forgotten that relationship I didn't want to end. Now? Still thinking if I have really forgotten, seems a bit stupid. Yet whatever cannot be what used to be it.

Saturday!

Just came home. Now is Sunday 4am. Went to town with Peiwen to shop for new year clothes. SO LONG NEVER SEE HER LE!!! Hugs. We talked and walked a lot! Hehe. Getting a bit emo. Talked about each other life. I realised how depress my life is getting. Almost teared. Sobx. We had dinner at MOF! It was really yummy!Hehe. My appetite increased. Left last of the bento. I think it is also the person I am eating with that determines my appetite bar. After that go to holland v and meet Mama, Pap, Cindy and Liyun. Hugs. Cried a bit. We talked a lot at Tango's. I controlled all my tears, swallowed them down. Saw Apple Hong(Artiste) at Tango's too. Look a bit like Yubing lei! I almost thought is Yubing until Pap say she is Apple. LOL. Then I heard her talked and yar! She is Apple. We sat there till 1+ then we went to West Coast! Go to PLAYGROUND!!!! OMG!!! SUPER HIGH!!!! Hugs. I LOVE THEM!!! THEY really make my day better. I miss Jessie!!! She can't meet us up. Sobx. I must apologise for this few days emo' posts. But I really need some means to really write up whatever feelings and emotions. Just don't want to suppress whatever even in here. Thanks peeps for all the care and concern! I hope things will get better.

Friday

Friday. Cry again. Sobx. No one understand me. I know its me! I keep everything inside. I never express whatever feelings I had out. Never talk to anyone about it. Just hide and cry silently. I just need a little comfort. But this inner me just don't let me open up! I HATE MYSELF!! I hate this inwards me!! I cry a lot more than usual. Even the worst time I had is less depressing than now. I scared I will think too much. Just can't control those tears from flowing. I guess I had frighten many of you all le bar. Thats the VERY different side from my bubbly me. The dark world of my own. Now is my darkest time and I believe I will get through this time. No worries for me. I will try to get over it. XXX say until I cry (Shall not elaborate on it. But am very sad that she said those. COMPARISON!! I HATE IT!!!!) now can't stop tearing. Haiz. I shall depend on myself like what I used to. Till then lo. Shall have a good sleep. Haven been sleeping well. Dream of Michelle and Chris Dobson!!! OMG!! Have been dreaming about GSK people!

Thursday

Thursday. Cry again. Stressed. Saw LiYun today. Her new workplace is just one company away from mine.

PS: 你们是我最大的幸福

Wednesday. Cried again. Depression??? I can't controll those tears from flowing.

PS: 你们让我习惯不孤独, 现在的我, 好不能适应一切的寂寞.

Tuesday. Cry on the bus again. Have been crying everyday on the bus!!! 我好没用!!! Crybaby!!! Sobx. Meet up with Cindy at jurong point. I MISS HER LOADS!!! Huggies!!! Really happy can get to see her!!! She is one that makes my life in GSK SPECIAL!!! We think the same which my friends usually think that such thoughts are weird. We had a lot of common topics!! 1 week never see her le!! Never miss her this much before!!!!Especially when my bus passed by Raffles Marina. I will always remember the appreciation dinner, the powerpoint slides we did together, the times we had. SOBX. I miss Jessie!!! Scold me for eating so less, teasing her. I miss LiYun. Those teasing of her and her shuai ge. I miss Shuai Ge!!!!! But people like MIA'ing. Not sure how he is. Ahaha. GSK really brought to me a lot of sweet memories. I LOVE THEM!!!! Sobx. Till then le.

Monday

Monday! Cry on the bus again. STRESSED. 我快要崩溃了!!! I miss those days. I did badly for training today. I think my team leader is really pissed with me bar. Till then lo.

Sunday

Sunday. Just recovered from fever. Went to church in the morning. Feel a bit better. Less stress?? Haiz. After that went to Bugis with mum. We went to 'Victor Kitchen' had DIM SUM!!! Well. Need to queue and its nothing much. The variety is just a few. But I must say their Dim Sum is unique in their way. It taste very different from those teahouse dim sum that you eat. They used some sort of vinegar to dip which I think it reduce the oiliness bar. After the dim sum, went to Bugis then we headed to Orchard. I bought a skirt from Robinson. Then we headed to Takashimaya! Went LV! I want that BAG!!! OMG!! I want the Gucci Wallet too!!! Arghz! My first pay in RS??? Oh yar. I now working in RS components as CUSTOMER SERVICE CONSULTANT!!! I can't imagine they actually recruited me in the first place!! I thought I did really bad for the interview. Haiz. My team leader a bit fierce, adding to a lot of stress to me! I scared I can't cope! Kind of a bit regret about taking up this job. Hope I can cope with it. I decide to take this as a challenge. But sometimes I wonder if I can really do it. 'Cos I really know what are my limits. Haiz. Haven been sleeping well this few days. Till then le. Nitez.

Fever

Friday! Today got training!! There is a lot to memorise!!! NEED TO MEMORISE ALL????!!!! ITS INSANE!!!!!ARGHZ!!! I cant stand this!!! The 'dao' people!!! Why can't they greet each other in the morning??? Can't get use to the way they work!! Saw the ugly side of customer service. Feel a bit disgusted by it. Lots of procedures that need to memorise hard. I have a hard time! SUPER STRESS!!! The team leader who gives me the training is stressing me a lot!! She is so fierce! Arghz. Butterflies in the stomach!! Tears just flow unknowingly. The weird feeling. I don't know how to express! Who can understand how I'm feeling?? The sense of loneliness. I used to fear not of loneliness and yet I am now. Is it because of them that make me used to the accompany?? Sobx. Having Fever. Feel like my whole body is going to burn me up! Must be the aircon that makes me shiver on the bus!

PS: 眼泪不自觉流两行...我想你们!!

First day of work in RS

First day of work in RS Component. I sensed the unfriendliness of the company. Regretting joining the company. Cried on the bus on the way home. Kinda scared that I can't cope it well. Stone there for the whole day. Nothing much to do on the first day of work. The team leader is a fierce one! Sit beside her is so stressful!! HELP!! I regretting turning up for work! The people all a bit 'dao' nei! Haiz. Must at least stay till end of the 3 month probation. I got a lot of whining about the new job! THE LONG HOURS!!! Till 6pm!! Arghz! I wonder if I am able to adapt to this new environment. Haven't been doing well since the new year! Arghz! A pleasant year ahead?? I'M WISHING FOR IT!!! Can I have a pleasant year??? Have been drowning myself with all the tears. I miss GSK!!!! CINDY! JESSIE! LIYUN! SHUAI GE!? Arghz. Depression??? Over-tensed?? Need some rest! I hope I can get through this. Training I presume a difficult one. Bless me bar. Till then~

Friday~

Its FRIDAY!!!! ONE MORE DAY!!!! TO END OF CONTRACT!!!! SOBX!! I'm missing GSK le. Today me, Cindy, Jessie and Evan, we went out to have lunch!! Hehe! Its so nice having to eat out of the D'cafe!!! Its such a BLISS! wahaha! Today we shifted back to the admin building!!! THE PANTRY IS BIG!!!! OMG! Lucky we get to use it for a day! LOL! wahaha! Meet up with Liqing after work! Then went to find my friends. No basketball! There is always no basketball court on friday!! 'Cos of the taekwandoes!!! LOL!!! I want to go to BKK!!!! BATAM!!! Hehe!! Next is coming in like 3 days!!! OMG!!!! Where is my new year resolution!!!! I shall come up with it this weekend!!!Got stuff to do. Till then lo~!

'Forget the year' dinner'

Today we had the 'Forget the year' dinner in procurement! What a good theme to this dinner! My boss treated us! We had a drink before heading to the restaurant. Oh well! There is those old Army uncles?? LOL! Had a martini which tasted quite different from the ones I had drank before. Environment is quite good, but I find it weird having drink with peanuts?? Those Traditional Peanuts with Shell. LOL. Then we headed to the restaurant for dinner! Had it really full. Thanks to my boss for the Treat! He then fetched me and my colleagues to the nearest MRT. How nice of him! We chatted about some guys in GSK! Gossipy hur! She started off with the suspect of someone being gay. And Mr D. came straight of my head and BINGO! Wahaha! LOL! Opps. Hehe! Need to catch a show! Till then peeps~! New year countdown anyone??

BOXING DAY~

Its boxing day~! Hehe! My UNCLE BIRTHDAY!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY~!
I took half day off today just to go for the 2 interviews my agent had arranged for me. Just came back from those interviews I had this afternoon!! SUPER TIRED!!! Travelling around TUAS!!! LOL! The first one is really ridiculous!!! Can't even communicate!! Japanese bosses, they had a hard time finding the words to communicate with me in ENGLISH! I was like helping them to get the word they wanted to use. LOL! Next, it was really far!!! 45mins ride from Jurong point! On my way there, I smelt CHICKEN!! And it reminds me of JESSIE! Lol! I didn't have lunch! I was too tired then and didn't really do well for that interview. =X Oh well! I guess I have just wasted the whole afternoon just like that. Perhaps I should rest first before I get a job?? Well well. Am a bit of tired. Gotta catch some sleep. Till then~

Christmas Eve~!

Today is CHRISTMAS EVE!!! What am I doing in the office!!! All my friends are still having their beauty sleep and yet I am here working!!! Arghz. NVM! It's a half day! Thank goodness. Hehe. Going to town after work to SHOP!!! Wohooo~! ME and CINDY! ONLY! Oopps. Jessie can't join us. Hehe. *Ponder ponder* How time flies! I have worked in GSK like 9 months!!! I have thoughts of quitting like 7 months ago?? Yet its the friends that I made here that really makes me stay on. I think I am going to miss here loads. The days we had our talks over lunch. Hehe. Teasing Jessie. *opps* The days we spreed together for nice stuff online. The time we ST'ing. Wahaha. Didn't get to sleep last night 'cos had 'Yuan Yang' yesterday! LOL! Went to bugis with mum and sis! Treat them Banana Leaf at little india! Yum Yum. Was not bad and VERY FULL!! Then we headed to shopping~! And ended our dinner at the HK cafe. Wohooo~! It's knocking off soon~! Have a pleasant and BLASTFUL CHRISTMAS peeps~!

执着的心

执着的心那么牵强
期望那爱从天而降

© Brigitte Khoo Jie Bin

Tuesday~!

Its tuesday. Starting of the week. I'm looking forward to THURSDAY!!!! HARI RAYA HAJI~! Have been looking for HOLIDAY!! Next will be CHRISTMAS!!! And there comes new year!! Time really flies. Another year gone. Wohooo! Today meet up with eve, sharlyn and andrew for dinner at cineleisure~ So long never see them le!! So nice to see them again and we've got loads of things to chat on!! LOL! Shall go and catch some sleep. Tommorrow need to work. Till then lo~

PS: 一路顺风 wor~! BON VOYAGE~!

确定?

一切眼泪擦干净
就让感情化成零
也许所谓的爱情
依然还不敢确定

© Brigitte Khoo Jie Bin

遗忘?

对你的思念我无法遗忘
分离的苦我一个人来尝
一直都装作自己很坚强
如今已闭上心里的期望

© Brigitte Khoo Jie Bin

期待?

我明白
却还默默的等待
我害怕
这是虚幻的精彩
我推开
所有的应不应该
只剩下
许多遗憾的感慨

© Brigitte Khoo Jie Bin

Friday~!

FRIDAY!!!! ITS FINALLY FRIDAY!!! I’m depriving of sleep!!! The weather is making me SICK!!! ARGHZ!! *Choo* Sneeze Sneeze. Hehe. Christmas is round the corner~! Festive Season~!!! I want to go TANGLIN MALL!!!! * Let it snow let it snow let it snow* Shall polish up my bible knowledge during this festive season bar. Oopps. Have been being chided on my bible knowledge by my friend. I will start to read bible today?? EH! I intend to watch DVD tonight!!! I will read at least Isaiah 11? Hehe. Ok. I’m quite sick of being at the procurement department. Having to face all the chemicals name EVERYDAY! Sending emails! It seems like my daily routine!!! It’s really boring!! I want new job! Yesterday watched “Cao Ji Xing Guang Da Dao” on Cable. Liu Ming Feng self compose de song is REALLY VERY NICE!!!! VERY TOUCHING!!!! ESPECIALLY the one HE SANG yesterday! THE LYRICS AND MELODY IS NICE!!! Except the ending he ‘Zhuan yin” too much a bit weird. But I like his COMPOSITION!!! The song listen until can cry de!!! LIU MING FENG~! LIU MING FENG~! Wahaha! Why he didn’t come to SINGAPORE to “Xuan Chuan” their CD!! Now he is my another idol that compose songs!!! “Chuang Zhuo” Singer!!! I want to be LYRICIST!!! Feel like going to those music schools to learn how to really write lyrics. Though I know that lyricist is not a realistic career. Just have the interest in writing. If money isn’t part of life, I would take lyricist as my career bar. Yawnz. Sleepy at work. In a confuse state of mind. Till then~ Better concentrate on my work. Stop multi tasking. *Still thinking how I shall celebrate Christmas and New Year*

把头发剪短
来让心的乱
忘了那一段

最后却发现
我依然想念
对我笑的脸

© Brigitte Khoo Jie Bin

想太多 'ing

Haven been posting regularly. Hmmm. How time flies! Christmas is coming soon~! A season to look forward?? Hehe! My friend psycho'ing me to attend CHC party!! Ahem. Its City Harvest Church. Anyway I have my church mass to attend. Today on the bus I heard Nicky's song "想太多" which is what I think I am. Thinking too much??? I made myself think so. Really scared I think too much and misinterprete things that are happening. Why can't things be clearer?? I'm not good at catching hints de!! Arghz! I thinking too much le. Forget it! Can't always be so 'emo' de! Have not been feeling well this few days. Seems to be coughing alot!!! I'm feeling sick. 1 more month and 2008 is coming!!! Another year passed! Well. A fruitful year?? I supposed so?? Did something mad this year!! Hehe. Time to come up with new resolution for 2008! Better come up with practical resolutions. At least something attainable?? Shall come up with my resolution 2008 soon~ Hehe. I am happy?? Am I?? Not with such a job in such a pollueted environment?? Yet the pay day never fails to brighten my day~! Hehe. Shall plan for Christmas and New Year activity!! Hehe!! COUNTDOWN!!!! Better go back to work le~ Hehe. IT Fair starts today till sun!! Going with Ah Mei tomorrow~! Till then~!

想你

偶尔会不知觉得想你
眼泪却会一直不停滴
难道对你的爱还存在
只是我一直把它推开

© Brigitte Khoo Jie Bin

I want new LAPPY~

Time for some update~! My lappie is totally crashed. Sobx. Intend to buy a new lappie~! Hehe. Was targeting at the HP Laptop. Screen can turn de and its TOUCH SCREEN~!!! I went to see it with Cindy on Monday~! I want to buy it!!!! The 1GB RAM cost like $1,499 while the 2GB RAM cost $2,499 at COURTS. $1,000 difference hur~ Saw $1,999 for the 2GB one at Harvey Norman!! Shall wait for the IT Fair at Expo which is NEXT WEEK~! Wohooo~! HP Pavilion TX 1020 Series de lappie~
Here are the specifications:

· AMD Turion™ 64 X2 Dual-Core Mobile Technology TL-60 • 2.0 GHz, Level 2 cache 1 MB, Up to 1600 MHz system bus running at AC/DC mode 35 Watt.

· Windows Vista® Home Premium

· 2048 MB Standard memory

· Internal hard disk drive: 160 GB

· SATA Hard Disk Drive

· Hard disk drive speed: 5400 rpm

· Lightscribe Super Multi DVD Writer (+/-R +/-RW) with Double Layer support

· 5-in-1 integrated Digital Media Reader for Secure Digital cards, MultiMedia cards, Memory Stick, Memory Stick Pro, or xD Picture cards

· High speed 56K modem

· Integrated 10/100/1000 Gigabit Ethernet LAN

· 802.11 a/b/g WLAN

· Integrated Bluetooth

· 1 VGA port; 3 USB 2.0 ports; 1 RJ 11; 1 RJ 45; S-video TV out; 1 Microphone-in; Stereo headphone with SPDIF, Additional headphone jack, Expansion Port for xb3000, 2 Consumer IR

· One ExpressCard/34 slot

· 12.1” WXGA High-Definition HP BrightView Widescreen Display with Integrated Touch-screen (Pen input optimized)

· Display Resolution: 1280 x 800

· Touch Pad with On/Off button and 2-way scroll with 8 Quick Launch Buttons

习惯一个人生活??

It have been long since I last updated my blog. Opps. My laptop crashed again. I supposed this time round its gonna to do with the hardware. Currently at work...BLOGGING!!! =X hehe. Yesterday went to library~! Its nice reading a book while eating dinner. If there are music to add on, that will be even better. Sometimes I think doing things alone is still not bad after all??? Ahahaha. 习惯一个人生活?? Perhaps. Oh yar! I have been in Procurement dept for more than 1 month le~! Can't imagine how I can endure this kind of life. SAP everyday! Wohooo~!
This friday will be shifting back to TSB building due to admin building having renovation~ Hehe. Sobx! My seat is at SPORTS last time seat!!! And the seat I used to sit is my BOSS seat!!! That means he can see me like I can see sports doing weird things! EH!! I DONT WANT!!!Humph! I'm having evil thoughts!! Li Yun's birthday present!!! Give her LA BI!!! Opps. =X But very difficult to know LA BI nei!!! People quite 'dao' wor! And her birthday is like 24th Nov!! So soon!!! LA BI is shuai ge de friend?? Last time see them eat breakfast together before nei. =X I want to 'matchmake' Li Yun and LA Bi~!! Dunno if LA BI got gf le mar?? But LA BI friendster's status is single lei. Hmm. Will Yun kill me if she see this post?? Opps. I shall try see if things can work out. Maybe ask shuai ge?? Wahaha. Cannot lar. People busy de bar. And WEIRD!! Shuai ge online early in the morning!! When I online, he already online liao wor. =X Till then lo~! Better get back to work le.

PS:

留下的泪带着祝福
让快乐把悲伤结束
即使会牢牢的记住
那所有快乐的全部

© Brigitte Khoo Jie Bin

说好了把泪擦干
泪却逆着流两行

© Brigitte Khoo Jie Bin

在爱与恨的中间
似乎没有平衡点

© Brigitte Khoo Jie Bin

糖含在嘴里总会想起你
心里也会是多么的甜蜜
曾经有着那爱过的情节
这一切也都不需要剪接

© Brigitte Khoo Jie Bin

SAD!

It has been a week since I last update my blog. Many things happened. My laptop crashed again! Task Task! Yesterday had it fixed! I went to look for my friend 'cos she need someone to talk to. Then we talk alot and cry alot. I know that things may not be like of what we want but we must move forward!~ I will be there for you de!! No matter what!! Lucky never do anything silly lo!!! Haiz. Don't make me worry about you wor!! Reflecting...I really don't like my life!!! SUPER BORING!!! Nothing FUN FILLED like before!!! Is it because of work??? It seems that my life is always been encircle with nothing!!! Friends drifted...that is always part of my life as I move on to another stage. But I really don't like it! We used to be so closed and now seems so far. Good friends are hard to keep??? Somehow I'm starting to believe it!!! Arghz! Friends I never had real closed ones for long. Is it me???I really don't know. Am I not good enough?? I really don't like the loneliness. It's cold!*Depressed* *Sob sob*
Till then.

Saturday Night~

Saturday. Went to hospital to visit my aunt and cousin. They are both down with dengue fever. Hope they get well soon wor! Take care yea. Went back home and try reformatting my laptop! AND YES!!!! IT RECOVERED~! It's my first time reformatting my lappie myself~! Wahahaha. SO HAPPY~! But all my songs and all are gone!!! Sobx. Happy that it recovered!! *Sayang* my lappie!!!! I love my lappie~! Ahaha. Shall stop here. Need to catch some sleep. Tommorrow still need to go church wor. Till then and take care peeps~

Friday

Friday! Work as usual. No appetite for lunch. So didn't go for lunch. Had training with lead in the morning. But she trains me for awhile cos she got audit to do. Today don't know why so no mood. Doesn't seem to be in a FRIDAY MOOD!! Cindy got the Zhang Zhen Yue tickets to the concert at NTU and we go together!!! SO HIGH! Wohooo~! ENCORE: 爱我别走~! The LIVE is SUPER HIGH!!!! After the concert we went to the business block. The top floor!! The scenary from there is SUPERB!!!! Really very nice!! Thanks to Cindy for bringing me there. Though its a bit of a creepy. After that Cindy's friend came, they give me a lift home. Abit paiseh hur. But the car is SUPER COOL!! Thanks alot for the lift back home. Gotta go bath le. Till then~! *Sore Throat*